Tag Archives: Self-development

How To Stay Calm In ANY Situation

Calmness is your superpower. Your ability to carry yourself with dignity and remain calm in the eye of a storm will empower you in any situation.

And when you’re able to not overreact and take things personally, you keep your mind clear and your heart at peace. 

Staying calm is a form of self-respect. It’s how you strengthen your confidence and grow your self-trust. 

But can you really learn how to let go of all the purposeless drama, awful negativity, aimless time-wasters, and mental clutter that gives you anxiety and stress?

YES! Absolutely. It’s never too late to change your attitude and start over. It’s never too late to learn how to respond in a new way.

The first step is to know that it is a CHOICE

You can choose calmness over frustration, anger, and resentment. You choose to stay calm because it’s the most powerful response to anything.

And when you make that choice you don’t waste your valuable energy on something you can’t change or fix.

Here’s how you can be calm and stand in your power…

Don’t Take Anything Personally

Whatever happens, don’t take it personally. Even if a situation seems personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you.

Nothing other people do is because of you. It purely relates to them. What they say, what they do or don’t do, and the opinions they give are according to how they SEE the world from their perspective.

All people have their own view on the world; they might have a completely different mindset than you and perhaps also a very different set of values.

When we take something personally, we automatically give our power away. We allow the other person to control us and our emotions. NO one deserves that power – especially not predators, trolls and mean people. You need to keep your power where it belongs – at home inside of you.

When you respond with calmness. When you respond with silence, a calm and respectful attitude, you are the powerful one.

If someone leaves you a mean comment on your Facebook page or Instagram post just delete it. Don’t spend a single minute of your precious time feeling hurtful, angry or sad.

Why? Because what they wrote says absolutely NOTHING about you. But it says a whole lot about the person who wrote it.

That person is not a happy person, because no happy people put others down. Emotional mature people with a healthy self-esteem and a deep respect for other people knows how we are all connected and that when you give kindness you feel better. When you give love, encouragement and share your joy you are a happy person.

So remember, next time you are about to take something personal; just stay calm. Walk away. Leave it. Delete it. Smile at it. Laugh it off. Breathe deeply and know in your heart that it has nothing to do with you.

Learn to Pause, Not React

Instead of reacting you pause. You stay neutral and calm. It will be a challenge in the beginning because you will properly feel an entire range of emotions on the inside and that’s okay. It’s normal.

So allow your reaction to happen on the inside. But stay quiet on the outside. Just be still and remember to breathe. Remind yourself, that you owe no one a response. You can choose to observe, listen and relax your body.

Say to yourself; “this is a great moment to pause and stay neutral“. Then turn your attention to your feet and feel the ground underneath. Connect with your breath and focus on your belly moving in and out.

If you find yourself in a conflict with a loved one, it’s even more important to stay calm. Listen and ask questions in stead of getting angry and defensive. Your willingness to stay calm will help build trust.

Train Your Ability To Stay Calm

The best way to train your calmness muscle is to do it when you’re not in the eye of a storm.

Meditation, visualisations, mindfulness and yoga will help a lot. As well as getting enough sleep.

Personally, I find that Yin Yoga helps tremendously. It’s a slow form of yoga with simple poses anyone can do. It’s a restorative yoga and a very different experience than most other styles of yoga.

By definition, restorative Yin yoga is a restful practice that holds yoga poses for a longer duration. When the body enters a state of relaxation the mind can also consciously relax as tension is released from both body and mind. This will help you stay calm for the rest of the day.

Even a simple breathing exercise will help. Let your breath flow as deep down into your belly as is comfortable, without forcing it. Breathe in through your nose and pause while you count from 1-5 and then gently breathe out again through your mouth. Do this a few times during the day.

Forgive And Let Go

Do you hold grudges towards someone in your life? Are you angry with yourself for something you once did or didn’t do?

Do you keep wounds open and active, living in past experiences of pain which prevent new positive experiences from being able to happen? 

Is it time to forgive and let go, so you can stand in your calmness superpower?

To let go of your grudges, you have to be willing to let go of your identity as the “wronged” one, and whatever strength, solidity, or possible sympathy and understanding you receive through that “wronged” identity.

It’s not always easy to forgive because we then feel there’s no justice. The problem with grudges, besides the fact that they are a drag to carry around is that they don’t serve the purpose that they are there to serve. They don’t make us feel better.

By not letting go, you keep diving into the pain. You keep hurting yourself and you are the only one who can change it.

Forgive and let go because life is so incredible short. Living with emotional pain is exhausting. Accept that you cannot go back and change things but you can choose to move forward. You can choose to focus on soothing kindness and compassion because you want to live the best life possible.

So that’s my little take on cultivating calmness as your superpower. If you would like to connect with me or ask me a question, simply reach out. I’m mostly active on my Instagram and of course you can also send me an email.

With Love,

Christina

PS. Did you already sign up for my FREE 5-Day photography course? If you love still life and food photography and want to learn my best tips, simply get started here >> It’s 100% FREE!

How To End The Destructive Habit of Comparing Yourself To Others

Do you sometimes compare your creative work to other photographer’s work and get discouraged?

If so you´re not alone…

So let me just say this once:

Measuring your success through comparison is a recipe for letting yourself down.

The only photographer you should compare yourself to is the one you were yesterday.

Why? Because…

Creating art is not a competition, someone does not have to lose for someone else to win. We can all win if we create images that bring personal satisfaction.

Comparing, in photography or in life, is not productive. You cannot look to external standards, whether it be others work or their opinions, to find personal satisfaction. You must be comfortable with yourself and your art to find true joy.

The very act of comparing yourself to others takes up your precious time and headspace and you have absolutely NO CONTROL over this other person and their creative work.

When you compare yourself to your competition or tailor your business to match other businesses in the field, you´re forgetting the ONE thing your business has that no other business has; YOU.

Your secret sauce is YOU!

Build your business around your own unique talents, ideas, and vision, and you´ll ensure that not only will you stand apart from the  rest; you´ll also do the work you love and were meant to do.

Instead of wasting valuable time comparing, focus on being more creative and innovative than ever before. Focus on doing things that are directly related to building your creative skills and your brand style.

The fastest way to free up your creativity is to spend less time on social media comparing and more time creating.

WHEN YOU CREATE: 

  • You generate more creativity.
  • You produce more ideas.
  • You improve your skills.
  • You get more business.

Celebrate your creativity

The best thing about Instagram is that it can be your creative outlet. Instead of focus on the outcome; the photo. Remember, you have a particular set of gifts, personality traits and talents that are unique to you. Comparing your life, your personality and talent is a waste of your gifts.

Focus on the process of creating your photo. Put more effort into the details, care about the composition, play with the colors, experiment with editing styles and so on. Imagine there´s no rules, and just like a child you allow yourself to play with new fun ideas.

Who cares what it looks like if you had fun creating it! It´s the quality of life that matters – not how it looks on the outside.

Real beauty begins the moment you decide to be yourself. And Personality begins where comparison leaves off. Be unique. Be confident. Be proud. Focus on your journey, not the destination.

Post for your eyes only

Take your power back and decide to post for you – and only you! After all your Instagram account is yours right! Post photos that make you feel; happy and creative.

Have fun with it and do it for you – don’t post photos to try to please others and get more followers. It will only make you feel detached from yourself and stressed.

 

The Healing Power of Gratitude

Being thankful is incredible empowering. The healing power of gratitude will fill your life with miracles and silence your inner critic like nothing else.

Celebrating attention to gratitude isn’t just something that sounds nice at Thanksgiving – it’s a lifestyle and mindset choice that will drastically change your life and your creative business.

For something to change in your life, one of two things has to happen: your life changes, or you do. Waiting for life to change is a passive solution.

When you shift your focus away from everything that is scary, difficult, hard, and unfair to a gratitude practice, all of a sudden things start to fall into place. Being a creative soul means being proactive, not passive, and being grateful is one of the fastest ways to generate positive change.

Adopting a gratitude practice takes you out of problems and toward a solution. It removes you from complaining mode and into a best-outcomes mindset. That’s a skill you need in your life and in your business decision-making.

When you’re grateful you will INSPIRE people with your contagious positive energy.

And people simply love to be around people with a gratitude attitude.

Gratitude is energy, and everyone is either bringing some to you or draining it from you.

The marvellous thing about practising gratefulness is that it´s (according to psychology research) the fastest way to turn off your negative thinking and grow your confidence.

Spending just 10 minutes a day thinking or writing about things, events, and people you are grateful for can save you a lot of heartache and pain.

You can use gratitude to reframe your thinking. For example, if I hear my inner critic say:

“Christina You are fat and lazy, you should lose a few pounds!”

Then I immediately answer back:

“Yes, maybe, but you know what; I´m super grateful for my body; I have given birth to three wonderful children, I can walk on two strong legs, I can dance the boogie woggie and I can breathe freely. It´s absolutely wonderful – what a miracle!”.

Gratitude can SILENCE your inner critic like nothing else!

The truth is that to re-connect with yourself and find more peace and calm in life, you don’t have to make BIG changes. Think baby steps – choose gratitude. Just breathing deeply and becoming present in the moment is enough to activate calmness and positive change.

Pay attention to the small stuff. When you take little moments during your day to notice these “small” everyday things, you will automatically reduce your fast pace and live more mindfully and gratefully.

With mindful gratitude,

Christina