Calmness is your superpower. Your ability to carry yourself with dignity and remain calm in the eye of a storm will empower you in any situation.
And when you’re able to not overreact and take things personally, you keep your mind clear and your heart at peace. Staying calm is a form of self-respect. It’s how you strengthen your confidence and grow self-trust.
We all encounter individuals who bring negativity and drama into our lives. Whether it’s through testing boundaries, teasing, provoking, blaming, criticising or simply adding mental clutter, these situations can be challenging to navigate.
However, it’s important to remember that you have the power to choose how you respond to these situations. It’s always possible to set healthy boundaries, and it’s never too late to learn how to respond in a new way.
The first step is to understand that your response is always a CHOICE.
You can choose calmness over frustration, anger, and resentment. You decide to stay calm because it’s the most powerful response to anything. And when you make that choice, you don’t waste your valuable energy on something you can’t change or fix.
Here’s how you can be calm and stand in your power…
Don’t Take Anything Personally.
Whatever happens, don’t take it personally. Nothing other people do is because of you.
It can be easy to get caught up in the opinions and actions of others, but it is crucial to remember that their behavior has nothing to do with you.
Let go of the belief that others’ words and actions are a reflection of your worth.
The reality is, people, act out of their own fears, insecurities, and experiences, not because of you.
Everyone has their own view of the world; they might have a completely different mindset than you and perhaps also a very different set of values.
When we take something personally, we automatically give our power away. We allow the other person to control us and our emotions. No one deserves that power – especially not bullies, trolls, and energy wampires. You need to keep your power where it belongs – at home inside of you.
When you respond with calmness and silence, quietly and respectfully, you are the powerful one.
If someone leaves you a mean comment on your Facebook page or Instagram post, delete it. Don’t spend a minute of your precious time feeling hurtful, angry, or sad.
Why? Because what they wrote says absolutely NOTHING about you. But it says a whole lot about the person who wrote it.
That person is not a happy person, because no happy people put others down. Emotional mature people with healthy self-esteem and deep respect for other people know how we are all connected and that when you give kindness, you feel better. When you give love, and encouragement and share your joy, you are a happy person.
So remember, next time you are about to take something personal, just stay calm. Walk away. Leave it. Delete it. Smile at it. Laugh it off. Breathe deeply and know in your heart that it has nothing to do with you.
Learn to Pause, Not React
Instead of reacting, you pause. You stay neutral and calm. It will be a challenge in the beginning because you will properly feel an entire range of emotions on the inside, and that’s okay. It’s normal.
So allow your reaction to happen on the inside. But stay quiet on the outside. Just be still and remember to breathe. Remind yourself that you owe no one a response. You can choose to observe, listen and relax your body.
Say to yourself, “this is a great moment to pause and stay neutral. ” Then turn your attention to your feet and feel the ground underneath. Connect with your breath and focus on your belly moving in and out.
If you are in a conflict with a loved one, staying calm is even more important. Listen and ask questions instead of getting angry and defensive. Your willingness to remain calm will help build trust.
So that’s my little take on cultivating calmness as your superpower. If you would like to connect with me or ask me a question, simply reach out. I’m mostly active on my Instagram and of course you can also send me an email.
When I took this portrait of my daughter, she and I enjoyed a stay at a 5-star hotel. Life was great! No cooking, no taking out the trash, no grocery shopping! We enjoyed Michelin food, facials, massage, and soaked up the sun by the pool. Everything was perfect!
A few days after we had returned home from our vacation, everything suddenly wasn’t perfect! My daughter called me in the middle of the night, crying in panic. On her way home from a concert in another city, she accidentally took a train in the wrong direction. She was now stranded far away from where we lived. There were no more trains for the night, and to make things worse, she only had 5% battery left on her phone!
I think every parent can relate to the horrifying worries that entered my mind. I wanted to rescue her as quickly as possible. I wanted her to be safe. I felt powerless because I couldn’t do that immediately. I had to be patient. I had to keep my hopes up that nothing would happen to her while she stood alone in the dark at a lonely train station.
So in the middle of the night, in extreme thunder and pouring rain, I drove to pick up my daughter. The thing is; I fear driving on the highway in the dark because there’s no light. I don’t like the limited visibility! It stresses me out, and the thunderstorm made me even more anxious.
I felt fear vividly growing in me, but I refused to give in to it. I knew going into panic mode would not do the situation any good. Tears of frustration wanted to burst out, but I was determined to stay in control. I decided to be strong for my daughter; to do that, I had to overcome my own fears.
In all my eagerness to get my girl, I had forgotten to use the toilet before I left the house. Now, I really had to pee badly, but I didn’t want to stop; I wanted my daughter safe first. After two stressful hours on the road, I was relieved when I finally found her at the deserted train station!
I ran out and hugged her with relief. As I guided her to the car, I noticed two creepy guys lurking around. Luckily, she was safe now, and I couldn’t wait to take her home with me.
But I had another emergency…I REALLY had to pee…a lot! My bladder felt like exploding. The nearest gas station was closed, and with no possibility of finding a toilet in the area, I had to “invent an imaginary ladies’ room” behind a dumpster in a parking lot…
While I sat there, peeing amid the thunderstorm with heavy rain coming down on me, I noticed that I had peed on my left sneakers. Great! Not only was I soaked from the rain, but now I also had to drive back home with this smelly, wet shoe…
In that moment, my mind wandered back to the fabulous days at the 5-star hotel; the beautiful infinity pool, the colorful cocktails, the calming spa treatments, the happy sunny days with no worries…
And suddenly, I laughed out loud. The contrast between “then and now” was surreal. It was hilarious!
THIS, I thought to myself, is such a good reminder that life is ever-changing, and you never know what will happen next. You just have to deal with it the best you can and trust that, no matter what happens, you will figure out how to get through it.
Life will challenge you in unexpected ways. Circumstances will test your willingness to act despite feeling fear. And at that moment, when you act, you understand that you can do more than you think, that you are braver than you believe, and that you can overcome most things.
The truth is that we humans rarely intentionally leave our comfort zone. We like to be safe, avoid everything that triggers our fears, and avoid putting ourselves in situations of feeling inadequate.
But the thing is, we grow the most from unexpected, challenging situations because they put us out of our comfort zone.
I learned a lot about myself from this experience. I realized that I CAN drive in the dark despite my anxiety (still, I wouldn’t say I like it, but I can do it). I learned that I CAN manage my fears and worries in complicated situations, that I’m capable of finding humor in a bad situation, and don’t die from getting pee on my shoes. All good lessons to learn, right.
So what’s my point with telling you this story?
Simple: to help you look for the good in the bad.
Some of the most powerful resources you develop will arise from challenging situations. Strength doesn’t come from living the good life in a luxurious hotel – it comes from interacting with life outside your comfort zone. That’s how you get to know yourself. That’s how you become confident in your own skin and discover your true power.
Running a 6 and 7-figure business has very little to do with luck. It’s all about MINDSET and SKILLS.
It saddens me to see how many creatives give up on their dream because they struggle to make money. They blame themselves, lose confidence and doubt if they are good enough – when really, what they lack is business know-how.
It can be super depressing and frightening to realize that you do not make enough money to cover your monthly expenses.
You feel lost and alone. Like you are this huge failure that cannot figure out how to make a living doing what you love.
I know the feeling. I´ve been there.
As a young mother in my early twenties, I collected empty bottles in the streets and exchanged them for money, so that we could get something to eat. It was not my proudest moment, but I was broke. I was a young, frustrated + struggling artist.
And I gave up my dream back then because I wanted a better life for my children. Today, many years later I wish I knew back then what I know today.
I get questions all the time on how creatives can make money in their businesses, and it goes something like this;
“My business is not making enough money, how can I increase cash flow so that I can afford to pay my bills and so I don´t have to worry about money ever again?
“I don’t know where to begin or what to do, and because I never get bookings I feel like I’m the worst photographer ever!”
So, today I’m sharing the top five reasons why creatives don´t make money with their businesses. These are POWERFUL steps, and if you commit, you’re well on your way to making it work.
5 Reasons Why You’re Not Making Money With Your Creative Business (And How to Fix It)
Don’t freak out if some of these apply to you, because it´s totally normal. The first step to change is to acknowledge you need change. Being real and honest with yourself will help you get things back on track.
Reason #1: You are not fully committed
Let me ask you this; are you fully and totally 100% committed to making money?
If you do not do at least ONE thing daily to grow your bank account, grow your profit and sky-rocket your sales – you are not fully committed.
You got to let go of that old story about the struggling artist and be laser-focused on growing your income.
I didn´t start to make money in my business until I decided. I decided that this is what I want and I wouldn’t accept anything less. I stopped giving up and backing off, and I made a conscious choice to believe that I could have whatever I wanted.
Making money starts with a mindset shift and a whole lot of action. This is you being really clear on what you want, stepping up, and doing the work.
So if you want a profitable business, the first step is deciding that’s what you want, and that’s what you’ll have… because there’s no other option.
KEY TAKEAWAY: Every day ask yourself; “what action can I take today to actually put money in my bank account?” Asking yourself this question will help you focus and get what you want.
Reason #2: You play hide and seek
The number one reason why so many women don´t make money in their business is that they don´t show up.
They hide, thinking it´s so much easier to play safe and color so far inside the lines that they don´t stand out as being too much.
As humans… we crave safety. It’s one of the top human needs. We need to feel safe.
So when presented with the idea of getting out from our hiding place… it can feel terrifying!!!!!
Perhaps you know the feeling. You want success with your creative passion, but you avoid showing yourself to the world – hoping that one day will be your lucky day and someone will discover you.
Let’s get serious for a moment.
Have you ever noticed how much time you spend presenting the EVIDENCE about why you need to hide and play small?
Because it’s way, way, way too scary to show up as YOU and you find yourself thinking; “Let me put everyone else first and let me just hide in the shadows and then….”
Someday, I will put myself out there… Someday, I will promote my products… Someday, I will ask for the sale… Someday, I will show the world how great I am…
But here´s the truth; visibility is critical to the success of your business:people can’t pay you if they can’t find you.
“Someday”, will not make you a profitable + successful business.
“Someday”, is an excuse to hide and play small.
And YOU are better than that!
YOU deserve more!
You have SO MUCH to offer. And it doesn’t do anybody any good if you keep it to yourself.
You’re done disappearing into the background. Beige was never your color anyway.
Now, is when you stop hiding. Now, is when you forget about “someday” and act TODAY!
This is your time to step out into the light and show the world what you have to offer.
KEY TAKEAWAY: You can’t wait for a miracle, sign, or lucky break. You have to make your own luck. If you are serious about your dream, you must go for it – every day!
Reason #3: You are a perfectionist
One of the biggest causes of creative dry spell is the need to “get it right.” We strive for perfection, and when we fall short, we feel less than and worthless.
What we don’t seem to realize is that perfectionism is the enemy of done. CREATING something and being WILLING to share it with the world is super important.
Why? Because though your content might not be perfect, it will help people who were once in your shoes.
You don´t have to be an expert; you just need to be a small step ahead of those you wish to help.
And if you help and inspire people, that’s an accomplishment in itself, regardless of your need to be “perfect”.
Let’s be real. To run a profitable business, you need to create products and content that solve your clients biggest pain points.
And this takes time and effort to create. Many business owners get overwhelmed just by the thought of this. They want to make the perfect product, the perfect newsletter, take the perfect photo for Instagram or write perfect caption for social media.
But you can’t create perfect stuff all the time… and if this is your goal, you’ll most likely never get your business up and running.
Instead of berating yourself for messing up and stumbling backwards, give yourself a warm-hearted pat on the back for trying, for making progress, and putting things out there.
KEY TAKEAWAY: Solving problems your clients have is more important than you showing up perfect.
Reason #4: You don’t know your target audience
If you are confused about exactly who your target audience is and what position to take in your industry, you will struggle to make money – it´s that simple.
You need to know your potential clients inside and out and make sure you can answer these three questions:
#1: What do your customers want and need most? #2: What are their pain points, that is, the most urgent problems that they need to solve? #3: How can you help them?
Customers are looking for solutions and if they are confused about how you can help them or if they don´t understand the exact benefits from working with you – they´ll move on.
Potential clients are constantly asking the questions, “What’s in it for me?” and “Who can provide me what I need, in the most convenient way?“
With so many websites and businesses online, you need to answer that question from the moment they show up at your website or discover one of your products online.
KEY TAKEAWAY: Get really clear on the value you provide your clients and charge accordingly.
Reason #5: You’re afraid to ask for the sale
Do you get a dry cotton mouth when people ask you how much you charge?
Do you avoid selling your products and service because you are afraid to appear pushy, salesy or icky?
If so, you are not alone. From working with thousands of women around the world, I´d say that 95% of creative women feel this way.
The number one excuse for not going for the sale is lack of confidence.
But here´s the truth. It´s not lack of confidence. It´s lack of skills.
How can you be a world-class sales queen when no one never taught you how?
I mean, no one wakes up one day thinking; “I´m going to be a professional ballerina”, and then the next day dance with the New York ballet, right.
You need to learn how to promote yourself. You need to learn how to communicate to your desired audience. And you got to learn how to love selling.
And just to be clear; selling is not about being annoying, or trying to force your products on someone.
Selling is LOVE. If you love what you do, all you sell is LOVE.
Selling is sharing inspiration. If you feel inspired to inspire others, all you sell is inspiration.
Selling is storytelling. Forget icky sales emails. Talk about your journey. Share how you got from where you were to where you are today.
Share how you overcame your struggles and how you now are ready to help people who are in a similar situation as you once were.
KEY TAKEAWAY: Talk about the experience and the benefits people will get by working with you. Be passionate about what you do and what you offer and share your excitement.
Alright, that’s it for today. Now commit to changing just ONE thing at a time.
Allow yourself to step outside your comfort zone because it’s outside your comfort zone you will sky-rocket your profit.