Calmness is your superpower. Your ability to carry yourself with dignity and remain calm in the eye of a storm will empower you in any situation.
And when you’re able to not overreact and take things personally, you keep your mind clear and your heart at peace.
Staying calm is a form of self-respect. It’s how you strengthen your confidence and grow your self-trust.
But can you really learn how to let go of all the purposeless drama, awful negativity, aimless time-wasters, and mental clutter that gives you anxiety and stress?
YES! Absolutely. It’s never too late to change your attitude and start over. It’s never too late to learn how to respond in a new way.
The first step is to know that it is a CHOICE
You can choose calmness over frustration, anger, and resentment. You choose to stay calm because it’s the most powerful response to anything.
And when you make that choice you don’t waste your valuable energy on something you can’t change or fix.
Here’s how you can be calm and stand in your power…
Don’t Take Anything Personally
Whatever happens, don’t take it personally. Even if a situation seems personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you.
Nothing other people do is because of you. It purely relates to them. What they say, what they do or don’t do, and the opinions they give are according to how they SEE the world from their perspective.
All people have their own view on the world; they might have a completely different mindset than you and perhaps also a very different set of values.
When we take something personally, we automatically give our power away. We allow the other person to control us and our emotions. NO one deserves that power – especially not predators, trolls and mean people. You need to keep your power where it belongs – at home inside of you.
When you respond with calmness. When you respond with silence, a calm and respectful attitude, you are the powerful one.
If someone leaves you a mean comment on your Facebook page or Instagram post just delete it. Don’t spend a single minute of your precious time feeling hurtful, angry or sad.
Why? Because what they wrote says absolutely NOTHING about you. But it says a whole lot about the person who wrote it.
That person is not a happy person, because no happy people put others down. Emotional mature people with a healthy self-esteem and a deep respect for other people knows how we are all connected and that when you give kindness you feel better. When you give love, encouragement and share your joy you are a happy person.
So remember, next time you are about to take something personal; just stay calm. Walk away. Leave it. Delete it. Smile at it. Laugh it off. Breathe deeply and know in your heart that it has nothing to do with you.
Learn to Pause, Not React
Instead of reacting you pause. You stay neutral and calm. It will be a challenge in the beginning because you will properly feel an entire range of emotions on the inside and that’s okay. It’s normal.
So allow your reaction to happen on the inside. But stay quiet on the outside. Just be still and remember to breathe. Remind yourself, that you owe no one a response. You can choose to observe, listen and relax your body.
Say to yourself; “this is a great moment to pause and stay neutral“. Then turn your attention to your feet and feel the ground underneath. Connect with your breath and focus on your belly moving in and out.
If you find yourself in a conflict with a loved one, it’s even more important to stay calm. Listen and ask questions in stead of getting angry and defensive. Your willingness to stay calm will help build trust.
Train Your Ability To Stay Calm
The best way to train your calmness muscle is to do it when you’re not in the eye of a storm.
Meditation, visualisations, mindfulness and yoga will help a lot. As well as getting enough sleep.
Personally, I find that Yin Yoga helps tremendously. It’s a slow form of yoga with simple poses anyone can do. It’s a restorative yoga and a very different experience than most other styles of yoga.
By definition, restorative Yin yoga is a restful practice that holds yoga poses for a longer duration. When the body enters a state of relaxation the mind can also consciously relax as tension is released from both body and mind. This will help you stay calm for the rest of the day.
Even a simple breathing exercise will help. Let your breath flow as deep down into your belly as is comfortable, without forcing it. Breathe in through your nose and pause while you count from 1-5 and then gently breathe out again through your mouth. Do this a few times during the day.
Forgive And Let Go
Do you hold grudges towards someone in your life? Are you angry with yourself for something you once did or didn’t do?
Do you keep wounds open and active, living in past experiences of pain which prevent new positive experiences from being able to happen?
Is it time to forgive and let go, so you can stand in your calmness superpower?
To let go of your grudges, you have to be willing to let go of your identity as the “wronged” one, and whatever strength, solidity, or possible sympathy and understanding you receive through that “wronged” identity.
It’s not always easy to forgive because we then feel there’s no justice. The problem with grudges, besides the fact that they are a drag to carry around is that they don’t serve the purpose that they are there to serve. They don’t make us feel better.
By not letting go, you keep diving into the pain. You keep hurting yourself and you are the only one who can change it.
Forgive and let go because life is so incredible short. Living with emotional pain is exhausting. Accept that you cannot go back and change things but you can choose to move forward. You can choose to focus on soothing kindness and compassion because you want to live the best life possible.
So that’s my little take on cultivating calmness as your superpower. If you would like to connect with me or ask me a question, simply reach out. I’m mostly active on my Instagram and of course you can also send me an email.