If there’s anything I’ve noticed from coaching creatives for the past 20 years, it’s that confusion is a given. Yes, confusion is super NORMAL. That includes confusion about what direction to take in business, what niche to choose, how to promote yourself the right way, how to grow your career and where to invest your time + effort.

Creatives are often more personally invested in their work, so their confusion is more personally painful. Especially if the confusion phase continues for days or weeks. It can be a very painful process because confusion can stir up a never-ending spiral of feeling stuck, insecure, not good enough or “being a failure” in opposed to feeling in control.

We think that if we are confused or feel lost, then there must be something WRONG with us! Luckily, this is far from the truth!

In reality, confusion always comes before a real breakthrough. It’s a sign of great and powerful change. A sign of growth.

When you feel confused, it’s a sign that your mind is expanding. It’s a sign that you are allowing your heart, mind, body and soul to make room for something that wasn’t there before.

The good thing is that by becoming aware of what confusion really is you can start changing things around.

What confusion really is and how to deal with it:

#1: Confusion is NOT a sign that you are broken

When you feel lost and confused, remember that it’s a normal part of life. You are not broken. You do not need to be fixed.

Accept that you are in the confusion phase and think about it as a positive sign of you getting closer to a breakthrough or turning point in your life.

Breathe through it if you feel anxiety and stress arise. By focusing on big deep belly breathing you calm your nervous system and remind yourself to be present in the now. Live life one moment at a time. Clarity comes when it comes.

Before clarity, there’ll be chaos. This means that whenever you feel confused, there is something happening within you – you are growing, expanding your mind, evolving into a better you.

Finding acceptance, respect and patience for this process will help you tremendously. Try not to judge yourself or become angry with yourself. Find compassion for what you are going through. Support yourself like you would support your best friend.

#2: Confusion is the fear of getting it wrong

I often see creatives use confusion as a “shield” against wasting time and effort on the wrong things. Instead of testing our amazing creative ideas out in reality, we spend time finding negative aspects of the idea, we look for all the reasons why we shouldn’t test the idea and then in the end you have used your energy and feel drained + confused.

This is where you no longer see the point of the idea anymore. The truth is, we kill the idea quickly because we are afraid it’s going to be a waste of time or a failure, so we better avoid it at all costs.

We convince ourselves that our idea is pointless or bad. This releases more confusion because the next thought is going to be; “but what am I going to do then?” and the cycle continues.

Instead of looking for a guarantee that what you create or do will be valuable, know that today is valuable. You’re using time well by starting, testing and trying out your ideas.

And what if you go in the wrong direction? So WHAT!! The success is found not in the result but in the process of discovering new skills and gaining new knowledge.

#3: Confusion is the fear of making decisions

Confusion is also the mind’s way to avoid having to make decisions. One reason we allow ourselves to stay confused is because we don’t want to take responsibility for making decisions.

We’re terrified of how we will think and feel if we decide something and feel it was the wrong choice later.

In reality we are rarely confused, we just don’t want to make a decision. Often we know the decision in our heart (or gut) but we are afraid to make the decision, because making a decision means we have to take action.

We use confusion as a weapon against making hard decisions. Staying in confusion mode becomes an excuse for not taking massive action. This is why many people stay stuck in the same place or end up unhappy.

Often when people are confused they feel pain, depressed, insecure, frustrated, anxious or completely powerless, but what they don’t know is that 90% of that pain often comes from not making a decision.

When you make a decision, when you choose a direction you move on and then you get momentum and momentum is freeing. Momentum and taking action is what gives you confidence and change your life – but you gotta make those hard decisions first.

Notice Confusion, Accept Confusion and Move On

Dealing with confusing in a constructive and positive way, has truly helped me change my life. I trust my ability to make fast + hard decisions and then take action without looking back for regret.

I only focus on moving forward all the time – even small decisions every day to make things better is essential. I never wanna waste my time in confusion land – I wanna live life to the fullest so I jump.

I’m often afraid but I jump anyway. I often feel confused just like everyone else. I just move fast through it. I notice my confusion. I accept my confusion and then I move on.

I’m not afraid of making mistakes or taking a wrong direction – I have changed my business so MANY times and so can you. You twist it as you go. You don’t have to have all the answers to start. You just gotta have your heart in it. If your heart isn’t in the entrepreneurial journey it it’s better to get a full time job.

I also want you to remember that all good things takes time. I started my first business when I was a teenager and I started my online photography business 10 years ago, so I have had many years of practice.

I was not born a super focused entrepreneur – I GREW into who I am, I grew into my skills by trying, testing, falling, failing and getting back up again. I kept walking even when I felt confused and afraid and that’s what matters!

Begin taking a step forward and see how it feels. If it feels good, keep walking in that direction. Keep it slow and steady until you are ready to take that leap of faith.

The beauty about life is that there really is no wrong turn or wrong path. Every road traveled is a blessing in some way, so take the stress out of life’s decisions and trust that all roads really do lead home.

With Love,

Christina

“I’m born this way; it’s just my personality!” she said with her arms crossed as if to symbolically ‘protect herself’ from my reaction. I tried my best to stay calm, but my entire inner world was on high alert from the painful critique I just received. I was used to her harsh and hurtful comments. But this day I had enough!

“Really! You are born this cruel??? I doubt it! No one is born like that. Being mean is ALWAYS a choice!” Your personality is HOW you choose to show up in life and relationships, and you can choose to be kind, or you can choose to be mean”. 

“But it’s too late for me to change,” she snapped. “My mother was mean to me, and I’m just repeating the pattern. It’s just how I turned out”.

I took a deep breath in and said; “No, that’s yet another excuse for not wanting to change your behaviour. You can transform who you are and how you treat others. But to do so, you’ll need to change how you think, act, and talk. You’ll need to begin living, right now, as you desire to become. 

You have great power within you to BECOME exactly who you want to be. To do so, you must be intentional. So the big question is, who do you want to be? And before you answer, let me just tell you; that if you want a relationship with me you have to change because this is the LAST time you’ve talked to me this way!”

She didn’t say a word as she marched down the hallway and closed the door behind her. I stood there for a long time…shaking…it was the first time in my life; I truly allowed myself to set boundaries and speak up to a bully. And it was the last time she treated me badly. I was 30…. But you know what…sometimes good things take time.

The lesson…. Don’t be afraid to set boundaries. Refuse to accept dominating, negative, energy-sucking bullies to eat at your confidence and reduce your inner peace. Setting boundaries is also a CHOICE and when you start to set boundaries, your relationships will change. Some relationships will end; others will bloom and become remarkable.

So again; the big question is, who do you want to be and how do you want people to treat you? Only YOU can show them.

Remember this; don’t wait for confidence to show up so you can set boundaries. Set boundaries and your confidence will grow.

With Love,

Christina

Yesterday, I shared my thoughts on the current world situation over at instagram. Because of all the positive responses I got, I decided to turn my thoughts into a longer blog post. I want to be here for you and support you during this very unreal situation.

I think the fear of the unknown is the ultimate fear of them all. The uncertainty and unpredictability of the Coronavirus is suddenly our new normal, so if you feel fear, stress or anxiety I get it! It’s totally understandable because the situation make us feel a lack of control.

When we feel powerless we stop focusing on our purpose and our goals but the truth is that, although the situation is uncertain, you can decide to take back the power of your thinking and make the best of a bad situation.

“When you can’t control what’s happening, challenge yourself to control the way you respond to what’s happening. That’s where your power is!”

Accept what you cannot change

The very first thing you need to do in order to cope with chaos and uncertainty is to accept the current situation. Accept what you cannot change.

The best motto for dealing with any crisis is this “It is as it is“. Meaning; the sooner you accept reality and what you cannot change, the sooner you can get through it and work with what you actually can change.

“Face reality as it is, not as it was or as you wish it to be”

The solution is on the other side of panic

When the world is chaotic be the calm rock others can look to for guidance. Don’t ride the wave of panic. Create your own wave of optimism and share it with those in need of comfort.

As long as you stay afraid, angry, sad, frustrated or in panic over the situation, you will be in pain. You have to protect your energy. Don’t waste your precious energy resources on negativity. It is as it is and you will get through this. And you get through it by focusing on what you can do.

You are stronger than you think and you have all the resources inside of you to deal with this unusual and demanding situation. Your strength is found in you being calm. 

Don’t take part in creating panic. Reduce how much of your day you spend talking about your fears and the Coronavirus. 

Limit your family’s exposure to news coverage

Reduce how much you watch and read the news. Stay updated every day about your country’s regulations but when you’re updated stop reading and watching. You need to protect your mind and your nerves.

Be mindful of your thoughts. All fears stem from how you think about your current situation. That’s also why you need to limited your focus on the negative news. Spend time on activities that helps you think happy thoughts. Do what you love.

Lockdown = guilt-free slow living

If you’re on lockdown with your kids, remember that this is a unique chance to spend quality time with them and be fully present. Slow down, bake, paint, play, draw, read stories and dance.

Help your kids focus on the positive parts of life. They need you to take leadership in the most optimistic way.

Count your blessings because there’s so many wonderful things in this world. You can choose to be fearful or you can choose to be grateful.

The bottom line is that finding thankfulness for the “little” things like hugging your pet, holding hands, having roof over your head, being loved, being alive, having friends, walking in nature and listening to music, is what will get you through this.

Keep working on your creative goals

Personally, I will continue to work on my creative goals and my business. It might feel like the world is standing still at the moment, but it’s very much moving and I wanna be ready (not behind) when everything gets back to normal again.

The lockdown is a perfect chance for you to dedicate time to your passion and hobbies. Take an online course, do a creative challenge, re-design your website, create inspiring content for your blog or re-think your business model. Spend your time doing what you love because is’s not only beneficial to your mind and health, it also makes you a great role model for your family and friends.

If you love photography, why not join me and other fabulous creative women from all over the world in the Online Photography Academy Program. This is a fantastic way to spend your time during lockdown, and grow your creative skills while being in a supportive and positive group.

Focus on your health

The lockdown is a great chance to focus on your health and boost your immune system. Personally, I see this as a great opportunity to live more simplistic and healthy. So I’m doing a juice and water fast. I have fresh juice in my fridge and I just take one out when I need it. No cooking, no shopping needed.

It’s extra important to get as much sleep as possible, especially if you have flu like symptoms or feel anxious. If you have a hard time falling asleep I recommend going to bed with a glass of warm milk (or tea) with honey. It calms the body down and helps you ease into sleep. Listen to a sleep visualisation or sleep hypnoses.

Last but not least, move your body. Normally, I go to the gym several times a week and work with my personal trainer. Now that I can’t go, I do what I can at home. One of the best benefits of exercising is that it helps you feel mentally strong as well.

I recommend doing HIIT or Yoga. Both types of workouts can easily be done at home and will help you stay calm and connected with your body + overcome stressful times. My favourite workout youtube channels are:

For Yoga check out; Yoga With Adriene

For HIIT Workout: Heather Robertson

That’s it for today.

Stay safe my dear friends❤️

Love, Christina

PS. Like this post? Come join the conversation on Instagram. I would love to connect with you.